so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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