did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize