so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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