so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
