Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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