I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
