Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
