Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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