Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
