Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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