did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
