His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
