Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
