Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You can't special order awesome
farters have to be the big spoon...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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