Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
