just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
