I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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