made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
