Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
