Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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