It's Friday. Sex?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
