We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
