dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
