A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
