ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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