great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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