Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They took my balls.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
