After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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