Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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