Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
