I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
