I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
