If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
