How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
