i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
