apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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