i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
