with your own penis?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
