these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize