What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
