I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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