i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
