If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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