We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
