we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
