when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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