Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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