Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
