Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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