You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
