it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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