I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i think i just lost a toe
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