goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
