am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize