It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
