did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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