omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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