It's Friday. Sex?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
