...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
