left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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