so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
