Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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