I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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